


Can't Catch a Break

by maithcop



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, Human Legos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 02:43:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11175342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maithcop/pseuds/maithcop
Summary: Three drabbles depicting a normal work night/day for GCBC while working for President Business.





	1. Sleep Well

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact, I wrote this chapter at 1 am, so it's quite fitting.

   Bad Cop's eyes felt heavy. He could hardly see straight driving down the road to his countryside home, hardly able keep them open. Bad Cop knew very well he shouldn't be driving home like this, but who else was supposed to take him? Good Cop certainly couldn't. Business had provided him with his own personal robot assistant (Good Cop named him Frank), but he had never required his assistance. He was a grown man, he could do things on his own. He didn't need Business treating him and Good like a child.  
   He slowly but surely pulled into his long driveway, tires kicking up dust and gravel behind him. He glanced over at the clock on their car radio. Ten minutes to midnight. Of course. Business practically worked him to the bone today, but he still expected the cop to show up at 6 AM sharp the next morning. Bad Cop didn't know how much more he could take. How long had he been working for him now? Capturing Master Builders, interrogations, all that. Six years now. The cop pulled the aviators off his face and rubbed at his eyes, gripping at the skin around them. It helped, but it didn't change how physically exhausted he felt. He turned into the section of his driveway close to his home and sighed. He mentally reached out to Good Cop, only to find he had fallen asleep first and showed no signs of waking up anytime soon. Mentally AND physically exhausted. Never a good combination. He turned off the ignition and stumbled out of his car, not bothering to take his aviators and helmet with him. Bad Cop slowly walked up the steps of his porch, fumbling with his keys for a few moments before unlocking his door and slamming it open, deepening the hole in the wall the doorknob had made many years ago. He didn't care at this point. He threw his keys practically across the living room onto the coffee table, only to have them slide right off.  
    
   He swung open the door to their bedroom. They had chose the master bedroom out of the two other rooms in the house. It was roomier, less cramped and both Bad Cop and Good Cop preferred this. The bed was larger than needed, though, a king size rather than the recommended twin size. Again, the two cops didn't mind. Bad Cop missed the sight of his bed today and all he wanted to do was collapse and pass out onto it, right then and there. The bed was cluttered, however. Covered in clothes needed to be folded, hangers, a basket. 'He'd get to it eventually' he always told himself. It's been three weeks. He tossed everything into the basket and set it aside, accompanying all the other junk and trash cluttered around their room. Business practically had them working day and night, they could never clean their home when they needed. Bad Cop maneuvered around their room, nearly tripping over the clutter. He could barely see now, eyes refusing to stay open. The two cops had barely slept a full night in weeks.  
   The cop stared as much as he could at the bed in front of him. He was ready to fall forward onto it and pass out as is. He then realized, there was one matter to be taken care of first. His uniform. He would never sleep comfortably in a leather jacket, pants and boots. Undressing felt like it took forever, Bad Cop not knowing if it was because he was half asleep or not. He stood there in a black tank top and boxers before falling onto the bed, not even bothering to wrap himself up in a blanket. His head wasn't even on the pillow. He didn't care. At this point, he was too tired.  
   He slowly drifted off to sleep, faintly hearing a soft voice in the back of his head.

  
   _'G'night... buddy...'_  
   "Good night."


	2. Wakey Wakey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cops get up a little later than desired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Props to you if you figured out where I referenced this chapter title from ;)

   Bad Cop woke up sweating that morning. The air conditioning must have been on the fritz again. He rubbed at his eyes before reaching for his aviators on the nightstand.  
   "Good Cop-"  
   _'Oh! Good mornin', buddy!'_  
   "D'ya really need t' call everyone 'buddy'?" Bad Cop chuckled. "Where are my glasses?"  
   _'You left them in th' car, I think?'_  
   Bad Cop sighed. He couldn't even remember driving home last night. Was he even in his own home? God, he hoped so. "What's wrong with th' AC, G?" Bad could almost _feel_  Good shrug in their mind. _'I 'unno, B. I guess it jus' shut off again?'_ Bad Cop sat up in bed, removing his tank top and allowing his body to breathe. "I'll have t' look at it tonight, if we have th' time. If not, we'll jus' get the Octan Robots t' fix it for us." The cop threw the tank top in his hand across the room into a random basket. Whether or not those clothes were dirty or not, they didn't know. Good Cop took control and stretched their arms and legs a bit, waking up their muscles and joints.   
    _'G, the way you're doin' it is going t' give us cramps.'_ Good sighed and finished up the stretching. He reached for his round glasses on the nightstand next to them. "You tell me this every mornin'. 'G don' stretch in bed. Good Cop, stand up. Blah, blah, blah.'"  
    _'I don't sound like that.'_  
   "You most certainly do! Where are my glasses?" Good Cop looked towards the floor around the nightstand. _'They might still be in our jacket pocket.'_  
   "Bad..."  
  _'I was half asleep, could'ya blame me?!'_ Good Cop stood up and walked over to where Bad had threw their jacket onto the floor, rummaging through it before finding those familiar round frames. Good Cop took them out of their pocket and placed them on his face, adjusting and cleaning them off. "There we go!" The cop said with a smile.   
    _'What time is it? We need t' leave before 5:50 if we want t' get there on time.'_ Bad Cop had asked. "Hold on, buddy." Good turned towards the alarm clock and screamed. "OH, MY GOD! WE'RE LATE, BAD!"  
    _'WHAT TIME IS IT?!'_ Both the cops had been panicking. "5:55! We'll never make it on time! Oh... an' 'm gonna get blamed for it!"  
    _'GOOD STOP STANDING AROUND AN' LET'S GO! If we jus' stand around, we'll never make it!'_ Good Cop scrambled for a clean tank top to wear under their uniform jacket.   
   "Why didn' our alarm wake us?!"  
    _'Did you set it for AM or PM?'_  
   "AM, I know this for a fact!"  
   Within minutes, the two cops were out the door and into their car. As Good Cop had been fumbling with the keys, he made an attempt to have a conversation with Bad Cop to calm himself. "Bad, 'm tellin' ya, _I'M_ goin' t' get blamed for being late!" Looks like calming himself wasn't much of an option.   
    _'I'll jus' tell Business I didn't set the alarm, G. Quit stressin' you're fine.'_ Bad Cop had switched in at this point, removing Good Cop's glasses from their face and replacing them with his. He reached over and retrieved his helmet, placing it on his head and tightening the strap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a little shorter than the last, I apologize. But brace yourselves for the next one :0


	3. Job Well Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad Cop and Business have a meeting.

   "A little late, aren't we, Bad Cop?" Business towered over the cop. He had been wearing that gosh-darn suit again. Normally, Bad Cop would be the one towering over the president, but with that suit on, it was Bad Cop who feared for his life. He subtly made attempts to maneuver out from under wherever his boss would step, in hopes he didn't have an early meeting with the underside of his boot. "'m sorry, Sir. It won't happen again." Bad Cop began to fidget with the zipper on his jacket pockets. "Hmm, that's funny, I seem to remember hearing that last time, Bad Cop! And the time before that, and the time before that, and surprise surprise, the time before that." He lowered the height of his boots to stare the cop in the face. "Sounds like someone's making promises they can't keep." Bad had straightened his posture and found Business' hands holding a tight grip on his jacket. "So what's your excuse today, Bad Cop?"   
   "I...I-I- W-" Business started to mimic Bad Cop's stuttering. _Oh, it infuriated him._  "What's that? Sorry, can't understand what you're saying!" The cop began to notice his feet leaving the ground. Good Cop had switched in at this point, not even bothering to switch out their glasses. Business took note of their switch, voices giving it away. "It was me, sir! I did not set the alarm correctly." Their boss gave him a smug expression. Good Cop didn't like the looks of that. "Oh, if I had only known it was that small of a mistake..." His boots raised the two of them up higher and higher as Business turned Good Cop toward his large monitor displaying a large city. The collar of the jacket was starting to choke him. "You see this, Bad Cop?" Bad Cop switched back in at hearing his name, any attempts to breathe being cut off. "This is Bricksburg. Lovely place to live isn't it?" Bad Cop grasped at his helmet strap, hoping to loosen it to allow even a little bit of airflow. "I wouldn't know, Sir." He rasped out. "It _is_. Now take a look at this." The footage changed to three Master Builders, a blue spaceman, Michelangelo (The Ninja Turtle), and a man dressed as a surgeon. They had all been taking apart several signs and posters of Business' propaganda and placing them onto a car/spaceship hodgepodge of a vehicle. "Do you see what they're doing, Bad Cop?" The cop couldn't answer. "THEY'RE RUINING MY PERFECT WORLD!" Business threw Bad Cop onto the ground, which allowed him to cough and gasp for breath. "And I need someone to make sure they don't do that!" The president lowered back down to the cops' height and grabbed them up off the floor by their jacket once more. He had a smile on his face, this wasn't good. "How do you expect to be that 'someone' if you're late to work everyday?" Good Cop switched in once more. Their glasses had flown off their face so there was no point in changing them out. "Sir, pl...please, if you let us explain-"  
   "There is _nothing_  to explain! It's this good cop side of yours, Bad Cop, it's making you weak."  
   "Sir, please, you've been workin' us to th' bone! We have no time t' rest!" Good Cop pleaded. Business' face twisted into an emotion the cop couldn't begin to describe. "Oh, you'll have plenty of time to rest soon. ROBOTS!" Good Cop's stomach lurched. "S-Sir, please, there's... there's gotta be somethin' we can do t' make it up!" Octan Robots soon came over and held tight onto Good Cop's arms. Bad Cop switched in and began to bark orders at them. "Unhand me!" Business chuckled. "Oh, Bad Cop, they won't listen to you."  
   "I'm your superior officer!" Business grabbed Bad Cop's neck, cutting off his airflow once again. "Either shape up, Bad Cop, or I'm permanently removing that Good Cop side of yours. Either way, you get your job done, is that understood?" The man in his grip nodded. "Choose one, Bad Cop." He had let go, giving his employee a second to breathe. "Sh...Shape up." Business grinned. "Good lad. Let him go." The cop fell to his knees, clutching his stomach. He felt as though he was going to puke. "Now go find those three Master Builders I showed you. Good luck with the space one, he's a bit fast." Bad Cop stood up and went to retrieve his aviators from the floor.   
   "Have fun."

**Author's Note:**

> Friendly reminder that it all goes downhill from here, folks :)


End file.
